


Just Need Some Rest

by lighthouse_at_sea



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Burnout - Freeform, M/M, POV Julian Bashir, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28397448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lighthouse_at_sea/pseuds/lighthouse_at_sea
Summary: Sometimes things wore him out too much.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 16
Kudos: 45





	Just Need Some Rest

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Projecting? Nooo.

Julian exhaled deeply as he finally, finally sent in the last of the forms for the holo-program purchase. He hadn't wanted to ask Felix for another program because the man would insist on making it free of charge and Julian knew damn well his friend could be spending that time and energy on actual, paid jobs. Therefore, when he had stumbled upon the custom holo-program design website, he had jumped at the opportunity! He had even had a story plot in mind already. Definitely another spy thriller, but this time he would be chasing a woman across Europe because she had some type of information that would destroy civilization as they knew it. Well, the actual intel didn't really matter, he was just looking forward to the chase. He had definitely wanted to face off on top of a train car. And maybe there could be one of those big ballroom scenes! And lots and lots of gadgets.

But the website had steadily sucked all the life out of him with question after question and dozens of blank boxes scattered throughout demanding elaborations of his selections. Beyond that, there were questions about the number of discrete rooms, desired NPC interactability, sifting through the thousands of pre-installed locations because something entirely custom would have to involve a meeting with one of their design specialists.

Somehow, he made it to the end of the barrage. The air he expelled was supposed to be a sigh of relief, but he didn't feel very relieved, mostly just worn out. He rubbed his hands down his face and looked out at his quarters from his position curled up into the corner of his couch. His excitement had been ground down for the two or so hours it had taken to complete and currently he couldn't care less about the program. Honestly, it probably wasn't even going to turn out good. 

Sighing again, he dragged himself up and moved to his replicator, but stopped with his mouth half open. He was meeting Garak for lunch in an hour, he shouldn't spoil his appetite.

"Water, 16 degrees Celsius, 8 ounces."

The water materialized and he pulled it out of the replicator's recess. The glass pushed against his lips but his lips curled instead of parting, stubbornly not wanting to drink it. But he was being ridiculous, drinking water was easy and it would taste good. He hadn't drunk anything in hours. _Drink the water, Julian._

His lips parted and he took a few small sips, then a few more. Good. He made himself drink the whole glass then set the empty vessel back to be dematerialized.

Bed. He grabbed Kukalaka off his shelf and made it into the bed with minimal hassle.

He stared at the ceiling. "Lights, off."

The room plunged into darkness. No, that didn't feel right. "Lights, 10 percent."

A pale grey light diffused through the room. Better. He breathed for a while, face slack, tapping his fingers against Kukalaka who was resting on his stomach.

The minutes ticked by and he felt a bit calmer. But then his stomach growled and he knew he would have to meet up with Garak soon. Outside his quarters in the busy Replimat where Garak would be grilling him about their latest novel which he would usually relish but right now he didn't think he could handle. But he couldn't just cancel on Garak, he had to do that often enough for work and this wasn't anything pressing.

He had treated Jem'Hadar under threat of death, he had been forced to operate on Jadzia. In comparison, this was laughable. His parents would never accept him being tired as an excuse, especially as he hadn't done anything warranting getting tired. What, a few forms for a new holo-program and suddenly he was exhausted? _Don't be silly, Jules._ Making him show off at their stupid dinner parties, shushing him when he started whining. And now he was getting all worked up.

He squeezed Kukalaka and brought an arm up to swipe at his face, although tears hadn't actually formed. He sniffed and detachedly calmed himself down, making an effort to slow down his breathing and stretch out his fingers, rotating his wrists. Why had he gone and made himself upset, he had to meet Garak soon and he would need to get dressed and brush his hair first. He would probably need to take a sonic shower too, he hadn't taken one when he came home from his shift.

How long did he have for all that?

"Computer, time."

"The time is 14:39."

Twenty minutes. His face crumpled. He would have to get up in a minute or two if he wanted to stand a chance of making it on time, especially considering wouldn't be able to give Garak a proper excuse if he was late, nor a well-thought-out, airtight lie.

Nevertheless, he tried to think of some. He had to take over a shift. He had been with the Captain, as he had been assigned to a classified mission. He had forgotten to pay his tab, so Quark was forcing him to work as a waiter to pay off his debt. Anything beyond the truth that something that was supposed to be fun had tired him out so much that he couldn't make the short journey to the Replimat and have an enjoyable lunch with his partner. And it was still such a new development. He didn't want to look like he was getting cold feet.

Of course, he could simply drag himself up, get showered and dressed. He would be rushed but it was all doable.

Determined, he pushed himself and got all the way to his legs dangling off the bed. He slouched forward and his head suddenly weighed twenty kilograms. Maybe Garak wouldn't understand, he'd tell Julian he was being silly. At least he wasn't calling Miles to cancel on him, he didn't think he had enough strength for that.

"Computer, call Garak's Clothiers."

The call patched through almost immediately. "Dr. Bashir, will there be something keeping you from our lunch today?"

Julian's insides twisted. He knew he had made this call often enough that Garak would realize what was happening, but it was still disheartening, and made him want to curl up more.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Is something the matter?" Garak asked. Worryingly, Garak's voice had lost its light, playful lilt.

"I'm fine, just… tired. I had a long day and I really don't think I'm up for lunch or a debate."

His teeth pulled at his lip as he waited for Garak's response.

"We don't have to discuss our book today, I'm happy to simply be in your company."

Julian cringed. He really didn't want to see anyone at the moment, and unfortunately that included Garak. But he couldn't just say that, it was downright rude.

"I'd really rather not. Tomorrow, maybe? Please?"

The please stuck at the end was pitiful and sad and Julian wished he could start this whole conversation again, where he knew all the right things to say and Garak would just say okay and hang up. The call itself wasn't helping either. He hated talking over the comlinks.

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No thank you. I'm in no mood for company right now." The words were dead flat in his mouth. He didn't even want to think of Garak showing up at his quarters, having to put on a pleasant face despite the whole point of this call, and find the energy to entertain him enough to make Garak feel like he had helped.

"Very well then, Doctor."

The weight pressing into him lessened. Enough to relax, at least. "Thank you, Garak. It's just that I was filling out these forms and I was working all morning – "

"You don't have to convince me, Doctor. We all need our space from time to time."

"Thank you," Julian repeated. "Can we reschedule to tomorrow?"

"Certainly. I look forward to it, dear." The call ended with a click from Garak's end.

Julian collapsed against his bed and breathed deeply a few times. There. Maybe the guilt would start eating at him again in a bit, but for now, only sweet relief flowed through his veins. Dimly, he was still aware of his hunger from earlier, but now he had as long as he needed to make his way to the replicator. He could take his time.

**Author's Note:**

> Cant think of any tags for this. lmk if i should add any.


End file.
